This journey has caused some great reflection...I spent most of the journey allowing people to tell me how to live, from the way I combed my hair to the way I smiled. I was forever doubting myself. All of my decisions were made based on what other people wanted out of me and for me. Many times, I had a grudge that things were not right, but I would march down the path anyway. In essense, when you dont listen to yourself, you are turning on yourself. Physically, it is your body turning on itself and now I am reminded to value myself, with every aching muscle anfd throbbing pain that trird to cripple me. I cant afford to abandon myself like I used to. I actually have no desire to. I know who I am and I know where I come from. It would be a disservice to every star in the sky if I stopped choosing and believing in me.
For the longest, I was too embarrassed to share my story. I didn't want the wrong kind of attention. I didn't want people to always look at me and see weakness or feel sorry for me. I also wasn't looking forward to unwarranted advice, but along my path, I learned so much and evolved tremendously just because of the journey. I couldn't pretend that none of this happened. Even friends on the outside could see the magic. In November, I was diagnosed with stage 2 cervical cancer. I was shocked because I ate so well, meditated daily, and went to bed early every night. When I got the news, I truly did not believe it, but stepped my game up to protect self. Despite it all, it did not appear to get any better. The one thing that I did not change was the people that I was around. It seemed so minor to me that I didn't take it seriously. I was in an environment that was not condusive to the growth of exotic flowers, but weeds. I was sick spiritually. It wasn't what I fed my body. It was what I fed my mind. I allowed myself to be misused in that environment. I thought small. I limited my own growth with fear. I hardly knew what I was living for. I needed myself more than anything for the past few months. The fact that it got worse despite my efforts really hurt me, but also prompted me to take my power back. It has not been easy but it has all been worth it. I have since moved into my first apartment. I got my first car! I also began protecting my peace; Ive been speaking up for myself as I should have always done in the past. I've become more mindful of the thoughts that I keep. I've learned to trust myself and my body when no one else does. Ive learned to truly appreciate and love myself unconditionall unlike ever before.There are still many days and nights of pain, but I realize that I am stronger than I thought. I'll continue to keep you abreast my health as I go. We've built a real foundation at Flowers From Fatima. Our tribe is so beautiful and I didnt realize how much you all cared about me until I took that break and received DMs and calls. I want to say thank you for loving me so deeply here. Alot of you have asked how... (continued in comments)
Along my wellness journey, he never judged me... He still cuddles up under me despite the embarrassing moments that come with healing. He never ran away from me. He never avoided me...I gave birth to unconditional love when I couldn't show it to myself in my vulnerable moments. Honestly, my little one has been my confidence and self-esteem coach 😂 💛🙏 and I am so grateful. I hope I've been that for all of you through Flowers From Fatima.
I felt it....People judging you for not going through that transformation with ease when you're trying to bravely face the uncomfortable parts and not run from it... People getting upset because you're not facing the dark with a smile on your face while you're still looking for the light in yourself. I was so afraid to express how I truly felt because I thought that it would make people angry and uncomfortable. I believed that it would cost me my few friendships and peace of mind. You see, people have expectations , which are not bad, but sometimes those expectations limit us from expressing ourselves deeply. My confidence took a hit every time I was confronted with a situation where people asked me questions about how I felt... Social anxiety sufferers, hello! . . . Then, of course, you begin to question your worth. People want to make you feel broken, instead of allowing you to be patient with yourself. Society automatically labels you with depression, instead of understanding that your situation just lacks love and support. No wonder there are so many lonely people with self esteem issues, unhappily wondering if they are worthy of being loved and accepte, as they are. No, girl, you don't have depression. You need a deep rest from the bull. No, you're not broken. You just seem to be hurting and that wound needs some attention. . . Lying to myself wasn't worth it when I realized that I pretending costed too much energy. Preparing sweet songs to sing into people's tired ears became too much when I just needed someone to listen to me talk. Then, I realized that I had been trying to be too many things for the comfort of others and the day I didn't want to be anything different for anyone else, I felt free. . . Did it cost me relationship? Yes. But you have to have self esteem so high that you KNOW you are still loveable, worthy, and valued. Did it cost me peace? At first, yes, but you have to have confidence so high that you speak with honesty, no matter what, so that your truth for that moment is released and no longer haunting you. You cannot be afraid anymore to be yourself. Don't you see... (continued in comments 🔻)
"Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone that you love." -Karolina Kurkova . . . For some of us, this can be hard, especially when you don't believe that you are worthy of the love behind the words. It will take time. It will take patience. It will take a desire to be your own best friend. I'm so excited for next month's Confidence and Self Esteem Coaching Program! We are going to master positive self talk, healthy habits, and positive thinking 🌻 If you would like more info, comment #DetailsPlease ! There are only 5 seats available! . . . Images provided by Freepik
I wish I could hug your soul...I see that you really did forget who you are. You really did stop honoring yourself because no one else could understand you. You dongy know that you are that special and rare. You don't seem to remember that you havr a much more developed soul inside of that body than the rest...Now you are asking the wrong people for advice and traveling more difficult paths than necessary. You're sitting idle because your not sure of your breath...You seem to have let all of the seeds of your brighter days shrivel up... You let this dark moment consume you and now you don't remember how amazing you still are. You had the pain in your hips and legs telling you that you were dying and not alive. You had that recent diagnosis bring ideas that you cannot instead of hope that you can. 🌻 You let your body's way of healing tell you that you are inferior, instead of being grateful that it has tried to bring balance to its discomforts. You sort of gave up on yourself because life looked so bad. Now, you feel unwanted, unworthy, and unloved. You aren't being punished, beautiful. You were chosen for this challenge to lead and teach the rest of us. You were chosen for this path because no one else could walk it more gracefully than you. You might limp sometimes and that's okay, but... It's going to take more "I am strong" instead of "I give up." It'll take more singing and dancing instead of moping. It'll take more trying rather than stopping. It's going to take more hugging yourself rather than fighting yourself. It may take something as simple as painting your world with the colors of joy, rather than sulking in the colors of rainy days and heavy clouds. It's not the end. Your flowers will bloom again. That's why I started my Self Esteem and Confidence Program. I wish I had something to help me through my difficult days. I wanted to help women just like me regain their power and overcome the habits, thoughts, and insecurities that have been holding them back on their own healing jounrneys. If you're interested in joining the next program, comment #TellMeMore 🌻
We're out here blossoming on all levels! 🙏 ✨ 💛 The second launch of my Self Esteem and Confidence Program just ended and it went even better than the first! I'm so grateful for the reminder that this program was everything that it needed to be! . . . Enrollment in the next Self Esteem and Confidence Program is open! For more info on how to join, comment #info !
I know you're tired. You're wearing it around your eyes. The day was long and some moments were probably draining. Your body might've ached and some parts of your soul may have felt sad. Please, do rest, but don't give up on your beautiful self or your bright dreams. The Earth has not. She grows herself over and over to give you everything that you need for your wellness and for your joy. Look at the trees and all of their fruits, waiting for loving hands to pick them and share them. All they desire is for you to spread their seeds and grow them again. The fire of the sun has not given up on you. Look at how it burns brightly for you, without end, so that it can grow everything you need and bring warmth to your Soul. All it desires is for you to rise with it and give the new day your courage. The water of the oceans has not given up on you. Look at how it move things along. Watch how it carries everything to where it needs to go and cleanses it, too. Look at how it grows the grass you tread on and softens it. She sustains all life, providing mile deep homes to all of the Beautiful Creatures of your imagination. She nourishes you. All she desires is for you to be free with her and to be mindful of her power. Not even the sweetness of the air has given up on you. She provides a cool breeze and kisses your face when you are hot. She carries your messages in the wind when you speak. She moves seeds across fields to grow your medicine. She fills your lungs with the new breath of the trees so that you can have life more fully. All she decides is for you to choose to breathe it all in over and over. You are supported by all of nature. You are essential. You are loved. I hope that you can see that. . . . This is for you. Maybe it's for someone that you know. Maybe it's for your future self for moments ahead. Either way, may you always be reminded of your worth.
What advice do you have for our tribe? ✨ . . . I held on to toxic people because I didn't know what God or good truly felt like. Last week, we talked about PROBLEM PEOPLE in the Self Esteem and Confidence Program. It was so beautiful! You all have the most precious souls and I will say it over and over: Protect your being...Your being of confidence with your decisions, your being of happiness with your tribe, your being of love with self...No one should be able to steal that from you. You shouldn't be going them permission to do so either. . . . If you're ready to start confidently speaking up for yourself and living for YOU, you'd really love our program. Comment #TellMeMore for details!
After all that I've seen thus far on my healing journey, I've gained such a deep love and appreciation for my body. It has worked lovingly and diligently to keep me alive, even in the moments when I neglected it 🌻 I feel like I waited too late to begin loving my arms, my thighs, my kidneys, and my toes... I waited until my sacred space lacked desire. I waited until my legs hurt too bad to walk. I spent far too many days not honoring myself with gratitude. . . . This body is a miracle to have arrived to this world in. I finally found peace in what looked like chaos in my bones, my face, and my hair. Now, it doesn't feel so scary to sit in my body. It feels like a little piece of heaven. It feels like a place that I want to protect and keep sacred. It feels like a place that I am blessed to be in. . . . It's hard to believe that I used to slash my own body with the sharp and harsh power of my own words. It amazes me that there was even a time when I stood in front of the mirror and cried because of how much I disliked what I saw. I cannot tell you how many times I still spoke unlovingly about my body to people who actually accepted me as I was. . . . The transformation...The growth. It's real. It's beautiful. It's possible. I'm telling you all of this to say that you don't have to hate your body...You don't have to despise who you were born to be and if you really desire, you can begin to love your whole self now. There will be difficult moments. Doubt will creep in. Don't let it stay. . . . I'm grateful for the friends that loved me in the moments that I couldn't love myself enough. I pray that you have people in your life that do the same for you. 🙏 If you don't, I am here for you. You are not alone in your journey back to yourself. That's why I decided to be a self esteem and confidence coach. Comment #WalkWithMe if you need support along your way 💛
Tribe, let's show our beautiful follower some love ✨ it's never too "late." some people live their entire lives never having awareness of what it means to choose themselves first. . . . The Confidence and Self Esteem Coaching Program begins next Sunday and there is limited space left! Ready to learn how to begin loving yourself better NOW? Comment #LetsGo !