My son died. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And I’m sorry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sorry to the pregnant mama at soccer today, you probably thinks I’m a snobby bitch because I couldn’t look or engage with you. Our sons are the same age and your very pregnant belly covered by the same jacket I was also wearing, was very hard. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sorry to the mama in the cafe, I didn’t mean to appear to cringe at your beautiful crying baby and the toddler hanging off your arm, whilst you chat to the family next to you as they hold their own newborn they ask you how is life, and does it get easier the second time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s been 6months today & normality still feels so foreign to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 6 months shouldn’t look like this. This should have been one of the happiest moments between our families. But yet everyone is masked and smiling, unsure what to do or say. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Its shock. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Its life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Its death. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This time last year, this is far from what I pictured I would be doing right now. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Looking through Arthur’s baby pictures and his beautiful, chubby cheeked, sweet 6month old face, what I wouldn’t give to be looking at another sweet face like this again right now. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Arthur truly was an amazing little fella as a baby (still is), so easy, loved sleeping, snuggles with others, eating all the food. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When they would say, watch out! Next baby will be the total opposite. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well haven’t I drawn the worst straw of all.