When that happens... don't fuck it up wit cho sheet lolol.
#Tday . Because I have learned.... if you do not take a fucking day For you...you will be in no state to enjoy it all once you GET through. You gotta transcend ALL of it. In the midst once in a while...or it'll be a blur of where you want to go, what you're doing to prepare, what you're doing to get there, how you're honoring where you are, setting boundaries so that place doesn't mar your intent- nevermind irons in the fire, friends, families, enemies, incidents, haters,catastrophes- Your gauging your geist...even sensing the pure need to recalibrate or totally change direction is impacted by all of that. &it's all pulling on you, stronger than any planet in the sky. In this crazy assed current world...you Have to give you a day out of each 30 in process. To really sit with yourself...& see who you've become so far. Start with one.
#geterdone , The 1990s @therock #blackturtleneck edition 😬lol. Get down? #findyougooflol to #getyoassUp . ...so~ best as I can, I'm taking the 13th of every month off. From all else that ain't keyed to me...From here on out. Until I get off this plane. Until further notice.
My head has been on empath fire the past few days due to Paradise being burnt to the ground up here near Chico & Topanga & Malibu being ablaze down south. I didn't make it out to Topanga while in Venice, but had it on me to go see if I can write there. That it might not exist when I get back has me shook. I'm praying for all who have lost their homes &lives, all the firefighters trying to reign in this madness &all the people places &facilities mobilizing to help up and down the coast of California as the idiot in DC victim blames from his porcelain throne in the white house. All of this life is so fragile sometimes. &we are tasked with getting through it, helping others make it through too. Everyone who is already spent, already quakey due to your own shit you're going through...& yet still trying to help others, I pray you get replenished by God as you keep reviving others who may not make it out without you.
I've had about 3hours of sleep each night for a month until yesterday. My body was splitting time zones again, living 8 hours ahead because what kept my heart was busting its ass in the future. It wasn't asked. My ship just did it, compelled, and I took it, weirdly shamefaced about it as I kept my peace thru the paradigm dissolutions of the last 30 days. I may have slept 10 hours before bed yesterday. I literally felt swallowed to my waist from above. Love couldn't get in, but I'm writing this to let it know that it registered, that I knew it was there beside me going through it. &I'm grateful.I'm just fucking fried.
#medicine . Sometimes the dissonance is to make you stop...so you can push through that's subtly teething to block you. All this has been going on while I've been implementing broader career rpm things into my daily life over the past two months. Four important things have been phased in this November, come hell or high water. The incidents have been In direct opposition to me doing those things...but I've been doing them anyway, except for one. Last night was to stop that final element as everything else has been manifesting. & it was brutal. &I won. ..but I woke up weary from digging my fists in venom soaked flesh. Like...loopy. Darkly loopy. I didn't want the day off. But needed it. But you know the beautiful thing? Once I accepted the need &took it...The fever broke. & The first thing I instinctively did? #THEFOURTHTHING . & with no pushback because what was blocking it stood down. Dead. It lifted off soon as I started it. I looked up I the midst of doing it. I'd written it in #inpen in my planner. And that simple thing was fought against so hard. ...But I made #pate yesterday. #yourfoodisyourmedicine #salve style... Which balances my system. #liverwork
#xmen all across the universe raise a fist to salute the man who saw the gods all us mutants are ...& laid bare the very real call on us to pick a side in the battles we face, no shame to either side chosen. Every indigo child on this planet, every rainbow kid & tiger eyed youngin that made its way onto the surface of this earth &survived, all us weirdos who found our superpowers &stopped short of avenging ourselves via them ...owe the work #StanLee did to tenderize the meat of the culture to the concept of even the possibility of being born more than the norm a debt of gratitude. He changed the atmosphere for us with his bare fucking hands. & People who would never have heard #MLK & #Malcolmx got schooled on the struggle anyway due to #STANLEE . This world is better due to what HE made space for using his imagination & brazen drive. #RipstanLee . #istanforstanlee
#The4thagreement . #alwaysdoyourbest . I can't half ass to keep the balance of all else half assing. I don't want to be on that crew side gig or full. I still Have to #domybest . The old-school way. "How your do your job is your problem. Don't make it mine" Mode. Or I can't sleep at night. So I've routinely called those situations in side gig work lol. To work on that. &it too Is a factor in thresholds I won't cross. So like EVERYTHING else related to my responses to pushes on career that has been challenged with this #Venusretrograde , it is up to bat. I've awoken in it trying to manifest again...and only this time do I realize that always doing my best #thefouragreements style can release me from what old-school style backs me into. Instead of "be the best you can be in regards to your work, working towards God...d o the best you can do in that moment." &as for "I thought Venus retrograde was about love & relationships" I love Work. More than any human so far. Dharma. Frankly. Solemnly. & I'm being called forth IN work...IN career...and my answer has been No...&I've had to face that &find out what's really going on to make that no a No. Which is all relating. &is it riling me because I'm doing my gig fine, but even watching tenplus movies a week ®imens &this and that on top of full time I know I'm half assing for Me with what I must accomplish during this time? Or am I doing my best &it's just not registering? * * * * Fuck it. #Whatisthebesticandotoday ?
Had another incident other day that was compounded by a coworker halfassing the shift before which meant I had to do all kinds of shit just to get to the point of doing my actual fucking job. The incident was with another SFr. He asked me to help him with something charmingly & as I was checking it in the system he #drjekyllmrhyde 'd bipolar style off his meds to the side. Like Roared. I stopped, evenly told him I wasn't going to fulfill his request. He threatened & I evenly said " I don't care...&you really should walk away...calm down...come back...and try this again." He blanched...swallowed his scream & went away. Gut? he came with his request to move because a black guy checked into one of the communal spaces on site next to him. He came back, Dr Jekyll again, sweet. Tried it 3rd sentence. I shut it down evenly. Asked for a mgr. I told him when they'd be in &that they'd be ready to speak with him. He blanched again then went Mr. Hyde. "You don't get to talk to them first!" "I already have to document it because of what you did to escalate it." "You mean you're going to tell them?!" "Are you asking me not to report it?(calmly)" "Yes!" "Have to. Policy." Bosses informed team that this is a fucking season up here. Before this occured. So I was prepared. But the compounding due to the halfassing...needs to be corrected. I can't do this through a season like that with the compounding going on. Turned out the last incident #hangupguy ? Was a fucking lawyer who got disbarred, probably connected to behaving the way he tried to with me.
@leahremini on the #redtabletalk with @jadapinkettsmith speaking on how she'd lost 3rd seasons of shows due to lunging over tables in boardrooms to punch motherfuckers in the face for their Hollywood shit? ...the perfect expression of why I have been way more wary of going whole hog in that area of my so called life( without glaringly large amounts of specificity when it came to which thresholds it made sense for me to cross...) than seemed necessary from the outside looking in. #Thatpart was sent from God thru them to me...I NEEDED to see them speak on that more than anything else. That the shit IS afoot -&Women HAVE BEEN reacting To that in the way my heart made clear would be my response in those situations. Because God knows my heart. & Yes, hope for the best. Attract better. But size up the stew your ass is talking about getting into, too. Is it worth serving or Being served? Or the bill? #KNOWyourself . ...Outside of being goofy over keanu & a smattering of units helmed by immensely creative people I highly respect & would love to work for &learn from I dont give a fuck about any of the transactional things H has to offer. I'm grateful I have that aspect they talked about. #TheRager . My willingness To #justsaytheshit AND to punch folks in the spirit for dumb shit has kept me young 😳lol. #iloveher . But a gig where I have to live IN that head all the time, even routinely, or wrestling with her #righteouslyangrylilbutt at this point in my life ...is the opposite Of my intent. & i haven't had anything bad happen. The spirit of los angeles IS intense, but it kept me like a motherfuck earlier this year when I was down there explicitly for #grievechronic . Much Love for that. But maybe that's it. Maybe IT worked because I was on my geist. Maybe it only can that way. But what I'm realizing is all I may really need is to be writing without having to interact with teams AT ALL for a while &beyond that season I Need a team where we all do our slots fully to make things fly because of the integrity of those on the team in regards to themselves. #personalworkethic . There are no cars. No houses. No hoods. No acquisitions or acquaints worth my head,❤ or soul.