January 1, 2019 I landed in Florida with a serene yet anxiety filled heart. Serenity surrounded me when I realized that I was finally in the “Sunshine State”, the clear blue skies gave me the sense of calmness. But that calmness was suddenly clouded by my dark-clouds of insecurity. “Will I be able to do it? Will I have fun? Why am I thinking so much? Did I forget something at home?” But the last question I asked myself was, “Will I be able to put my anxiety past me and enjoy my time?” You see, for anyone who knows me well enough (which is basically no one), I have constant anxiety which keeps me from exploring and having that adventure-filled life I had always desired. I have become so comfortable in my little bubble that the thought of stepping out of that makes me feel like I’m suffocating. If you don’t understand what that feels like, consider yourself lucky. But if you do want to understand, think of it like you’ve gone deep-sea diving, now for some unknown reason (go with it, don’t try to justify it) you’ve run out of oxygen. Now, you’ve gone in so deep that before you can even go up to sea level, you’ll start to lose breath... can you imagine that? That feeling of slowly losing air in your lungs and heart? Can you? Because that’s what a person with constant anxiety feels like, ALL THE TIME. But here I am, in beautiful St. Petersburg, Florida, writing about my anxiety. What is the purpose behind this? Well, to rid myself of that anxiety by first accepting it. I have anxiety. But if I dwell on my anxiety or somehow try and switch to happier thought, I cripple my mind with even more anxiety-ridden thoughts. So I’ve come to accept my anxiety and to just let things happen. When I was asking myself all those questions, I also realized that I was just thinking too deep into situations that haven’t even happened. You see, I was self-sabotaging myself. Therefor, my first step is acceptance. Accepting that somethings are just not in my hands and I have to learn to be okay with that.