June 27, 2016 -4:00 am
A year, a day & a time we wish never existed. It was the last time we would ever feel Masons heart beating, It was the last time we felt his his lungs fill up with air, the last time we would hold him.
It’s a day we wish was a normal one. One filled with laughter and our boy playing with his toys. We wish it was a day with only happiness and good memories. However as we sit on his bed that hasn’t been slept on in 2 years, surround by his pictures and his favourite things, We are reminded that nothing will ever be normal. The life we once lived, careless and free is now a life of constant heart ache and reminders of what could have been.
Two years ago, is the same pain we feel today. That pain has never gotten easier, it has never faded nor will it ever. Our hearts are not the same ones they once were. When Mason’s heart had beaten its last beat so did most of our hearts. Those hearts went with him. These new hearts are filled with scars, scars that will never heal, never forget and never stop loving him.
Hearts that feel more pain, feel more sadness & feel more love all at the same time. Our new hearts are hearts that are so fragile because only a few pieces remain.
On this day, this week and even in the weeks ahead our hearts are numb. A smile is hard to come by and the silence is inevitable. We’ll watch as others lives move by, as if nothing has happened. We will watch family act as though he never existed and we will hear the words its time to move on more then we should.
Our days will be filled with tears, as we try to remember what his hugs felt like again. Watching videos over and over again so we won’t forget his voice. Looking at all his pictures remembering the fun times we had. Trying to make sure Miller always knows who his big brother is so he can love him just as much as we do.
June 27- will always be a day that our hearts are shredded into pieces, a day we remember all the the last, a day that will never fade away. A day that no words need to be said, because we both feel it. A day we wish we could have our son back. A day that we only remember the bad.
We miss you so much Mason🖤👼🏼Xoxoxo #fightlikemason